Archive for April, 2008

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Bring it back: Velcro sneakers

April 11, 2008

Anyone who has ever seen me will admit that I’m a fashion connoisseur. I wear sandals in the winter, short shorts while playing basketball, and T-shirts with clever slogans (e.g. “This is what a feminist looks like” or “I Heart Newark.”)

The other day, a brilliant idea came to me — one I feel obliged to share with the general public.

Velcro sneakers. Bring them back. For adults.

The joys and wonders of Velcro must not be limited upon the youth. We all remember the good old days. We slipped our shoes on and off, with one simple motion and a sound we learned to love.

There is no reason this has to be a pre-pubescent phenomenon. Laces are both annoying and quite frankly, kind of ugly. They just droop all over the place. They don’t really belong. So let’s get rid of them.

After doing some research, I discovered that there are some C-list celebs who are already wearing Velcro on the red carpet, and that there are some businesses that sell Velcro sneakers for adults.

Let us stop the prejudice against Velcro. It is time.

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In the middle of a catastrophic disaster…

April 10, 2008

A catastrophic disaster. That’s what one local official called it.

Thunderstorms and tornadoes pummeled the Eastern Oklahoma and Western Arkansas areas yesterday, and I was in the middle of it all.

As it has become a Wednesday night tradition for me, I drove to Pocola yesterday to play some poker after completing my deadline for our weekly newspaper. Pocola, while technically in Oklahoma, is a suburb of Fort Smith, Arkansas.

I had heard that it might rain, but the serious storm wasn’t supposed to hit until today. Well, it hit early.

On two different occasions, they shut down the casino — evacuating all table games — to push everyone against a wall in the strongest part of the building. While the scene was relatively calm, people were certainly worried. Everyone was calling their loved ones, checking to see where they were. Many people found out that their homes had been damaged, with windows being blown out and water coming in.

One man told me that it looked like 50 tons of golf balls had fallen on his house. There were no windows left and half of his roof was caved in.

While there were reports of tornadoes and funnel clouds, flooding from the massive rain, and fires caused by the lightning, much of the damage was done by the hail. Up to tennis ball-sized hail was falling, denting cars and destroying property. Winds were flying in excess of 100 mph.

Eventually, they let people leave the casino. But after checking the weather, I (and many others) realized it would be foolish to leave. More storm systems were on their way, and trying to drive back east in the madness would not be a smart move. As if to reiterate this fact, the news station showed some footage of a couple of cars lying upside down after they skidded off the highway.

A few of us went back to play cards, but less than 30 minutes later, the TV announced another storm over Pocola and everyone rushed to safety.

Finally, the tornado threat died down. But that didn’t make things any easier for me. Highway 9, the direct route from Stigler to Pocola was partially closed down due to the storm, so I had to find another route. A worker at the casino slowly explained what would be the best way to go, and I scribbled it down and ran to my Honda Accord to try to make it home. It was raining hard, and there was still lightning, but the wind had died down.

I drove for about 15 minutes until I came to a lake where the road was supposed to be. I started to drive into it, thought better of it, and quickly went into reverse to get back on dry land. I put on the emergency brake, got out of the car, and went to see how deep it was. It seemed quite a few feet deep. I sighed, pulled a K-turn (it took like nine times since the road was so narrow) and went back to the casino. Now 2 a.m. without a safe route home, I decided to just call it a night. Exhausted, I found a hotel room and collapsed into slumber.

Hundreds of homes were damaged, thousands (including many in Stigler) were without power, and millions and millions of dollars in damage is being reported. And this is just the beginning of tornado season…

Here are some photos that the Sentinel’s managing editor James and the news editor Doug took:

Here are a CNN article on the storms: http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/weather/04/10/midwest.storms.ap/index.html?eref=rss_latest

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Recycling

April 7, 2008

Tom Nelson of Los Angeles recently asked how Oklahoma compares to Southern California in terms of the environment.

Simply put, in LA, they are freaks about it. Not recycling is the equivalent of punching a baby panda bear in the stomach.

I’m certainly not diminishing the importance of recycling. Yeah, you should do it. Yeah, it’s important. But the fact remains that people take offense there if you don’t

Here, not so much. Now, I work for a printing company and it’d probably be really irresponsible if they didn’t recycle. But they do. In fact, they get a big “thumbs up” for their environmentally friendly ways, prompting me to take a photo of our production manager Manuel in front of a framed certificate saying how many thousands of trees we have saved by recycling.

But like anywhere I suppose, people and companies use the environment card wherever they see fit. Case in point—the casino I play cards in just got a whole lot stingier. Apparently disturbed by the amount of paper towels people were taking, they removed all the paper products, leaving just the faulty old automatic hand dryers. They posted a sign in the bathroom saying the casino had “gone green.”

Yes, “going green” is the new “going cheap.”

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Here come the bugs…

April 6, 2008

The cockroach was enormous. It infiltrated my office and took it as its own. I had heard that Oklahoma has, how should we put it, a bug problem in the spring and summer. Today was the first evidence that supported that claim.

I had seen huge flying insects in the office before, but this was the first crawler (aside from some big spiders) that I had seen. Although they say they can survive through meteorites, this one never had a chance. Squashed and disposed of, the world has one less of them. It will be one of 20 billion cockroaches to be killed this year alone.

I’ve never been a big fan of bugs. As a child, I used to fill up my water gun in the summer and take it to the side of my brick house. I would find ants crawling up the wall, pump my super soaker a couple of times, and unload on them. I would never mess with the spiders though. They had my respect. Sometimes, if an ant was in the same vicinity as a spider, I would let it off the hook. I had the strange feeling that the spiders were protecting them and that if I messed with them, I would feel the eight-legger’s wrath.

Anyway, still no bug problem in my apartment. If that happens, I will not be a happy camper.

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What do you call people from Washington, D.C.?

April 5, 2008

My friend Pat from New Jersey recently gave me some advice on how to make my blog more appealing. His suggestion, in his own words: “Make fun of the locals more – the dinner thing was good, but it could have been more condescending. Work on that. And then describe how it feels to be tarred and feathered.”

Now, Pat’s a good guy so I don’t think he really means any ill will toward Stig natives, but there is of course the perception on the coasts that people in Middle America are less intelligent and less cultured. In my experience, I have not found that to be the case — for the most part.

People here seem to be just as intelligent as they are on the coasts, and if anything, they seem to have way more common sense and practical knowledge. And they’re friendly, which is no small thing. For the record, New York City is also an incredibly friendly place. Ignore the inaccurate stereotype.

But all those qualifiers aside, I heard a story about the ignorance of a woman that I simply had to share.

Tim, one of my co-workers, conversed with a local elderly woman about some of the immigrant workers in the county. She, apparently, was not a big fan of them. But she had some inside knowledge about them that she had to share.

“You know,” she whispered, glancing around as if to see if there was anyone watching. “They’re not even Mexicans.”

“Oh yeah?” Tim responded. “What are they?”

“They’re District of Columbians.”

Not having the heart to tell her otherwise (or perhaps he was just too afraid he’d burst out laughing), he let her statement stand.

Yes, these immigrants from D.C. are simply taking over. I say, we should build a wall around D.C. and protect our country from the politicians and lobbyists. Hmm… maybe this crazy woman was onto something…

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Craving a slice

April 4, 2008
ny-pizza.jpg

There was an episode of Entourage that seems particularly fitting right now. The guys were complaining about the lack of good pizza in LA (a very valid complaint), so at the end of the episode, Turtle decides to fly a jet worth of still-warm NYC pizza to their mansion in Southern California.

Man, I wish I were rich because I really could go for some decent pizza these days.

From what I can tell (and if anyone knows differently, speak now), the pizza here is lacking. There aren’t many unique pizza parlors (not that they even call them that anymore), and the chains they have locally aren’t great.

They have a Pizza Hut, which isn’t as good as it is on the coasts. Yes, you can taste the difference. And they have a Mazzio’s, which is a Midwestern pizza chain. I’ve eaten there once, and I really didn’t like it, but the restaurant does seem to get above average reviews from the locals here. Perhaps I will give it one more try.

No pizza is better than good ole B & T Supreme, located on 86th Street and Lexington in Manhattan, though I am also a fan of the pizza on Long Beach Island in New Jersey. My hometown of Kearny, NJ probably has more than a dozen pizza places (off the top of my head: Joe’s, Pizzaland, Bensi’s, Peppino’s, the place across the street from Peppino’s, the mafia-run place on the South side of Kearny, the one near the supermarket) and I’m sure there are others I am forgetting or that I am not familiar with. Each of those places had unique and solid slices. Each is better than anything I’ve ever had in California or in the Midwest (with the exception of the chain, BJs).

Anyway, I need to stop this post because my stomach is rumbling and my mouth is watering. But if any millionaire is reading this and wants to pull off a Turtle, my pizza can be delivered to my office at 204 S. Broadway, Stigler, Oklahoma 74462.